Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Four Ways

 I had a plan. It was a mother lovin' beautiful plan! I'm a big proponent of plans, I think everybody ought to have one. I usually got more than one. 
 This one called for a couple a cons I did a stretch with in Joliet from 1938-42 (that's Joliet Correctional center for you rubes out there), Pete Mazon and Rocky Balliari. Two tougher, meaner mooks you'll never run across. But not real big in the brains department if ya get my drift. That's OK with me, I like to be the one doin' the thinkin'.
 It was a simple plan. To hit the bank in Riverdale just south of Chicago proper. I'd thought about it plenty before I went up, but it was at least a three man job. Two on the inside and a driver. By the time we got out, Pete’s brother Benny was 20. We made him our wheelman.
 Morning of the robbery, Benny poached a V-8 Desoto from the company lot of the steel mill. It wouldn't be missed until 4. We went over the plan one more time. Once we had the guards’ guns and handcuffed them together, we'd nab all the cheddar we could get our hands on! We each had a big canvas duffle bag. We'd fill'em and split, nice and easy. Later we’d split the cash four ways and amscray. We wore our hats with kerchiefs on our faces, just like real freakin' desperados!
 It went off just like we planned. On our way outta town, these mooks is all blowin' about what all they're gonna buy with their cut.
"Can it with that crap you mutts! You wanna bring every G-man in Chicago down on us? Keep your traps shut and your head down for a while, till the coast is clear. Then start spendin' slow and easy like, got me?" I told'em.
 Well, that got me the evil eye alright! But they shut up and most of the rest of the trip was made in silence. I noticed somethin' though,
too many long looks and meaningful glances for my liking! I ain't stayed alive this long by not knowin' which way the wind is blowin'! If ya catch my drift. 
 When we get to this old abandoned farmhouse, we all start headin' in and I says "Crap fellas, my hat's still in the guys head in while I grab it." Pete and Benny head in with the bags, but Rocky hangs back. I figure this is where I get it. I come walkin' back towards the house, hat in front of me when Rocky points his .38 at me.
"That's far enough Jimbo, we did some calculatin' and we like a three-way split better."
"But Rock, it was my plan, you can't..." I tried.
"Look, we appreciate it and all, so I'll make it quick. You'll never know what hit ya." Rocky said smugly.
"You mean like this..." I said as I shot him in the face, right through my hat. Damn, I loved that hat! 
 .45 in hand I walked up the steps and into the farmhouse. Inside I could hear Benny and Pete talkin' as they dumped the cash out on the living room floor. "That didn't take long..." Pete called over his shoulder.
"I shot him as fast as I could you cheatin' bastard!" I answered.
When they heard my voice they both reached for their guns, but I already had the .45 leveled. "Huh-uh," I told them "Throw'em over there." I indicated with the point of my chin. They tossed them in the direction I indicated and turned to face me.
"It was all Rocky! Benny and Me, we was scared to death of that prick bastard! Jimmy, you know what he was like. Thank God you killed him!" Pete said with a quiver in his voice. What actin'! This guy oughta be in pictures.
"Don't you play that shit with me, Pete. I was born at night...but it wasn't LAST night. You three had this planned. Otherwise, you'da have tried to warn me. You got greedy Pete, and it's gonna cost ya." I said. And calmly shot Benny between the eyes.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!" Pete wailed as he came at me. I put 5 slugs in him as he came, skidding to a stop face down at my feet. Well, guess I'll just have to spend all this money myself. I hear Havana is nice this time of year. Rum and cigars and beautiful women!  Checked my pocket, yep my ticket's still there. 
Like I said, I always got a plan...


  1. Now that made me laugh!! Always be the man with the plan!!
    Like your writing style, I can always picture it in my mind and that makes it even better. You're a good writer.

    1. Thank you, whoever you are! I'm glad you liked it!!!

  2. Classic old movie done in the short story form. Like your style kind lke talking to someone in Havana about what happened, but as you dead men tell no tales. Loved it. Get my drift. Cause I ain't no stool pigeon.

    1. Thank you Adolfo, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was a fun little write, channeled my inner Boggie.

  3. That was fun! Perfect length, well told, and just the right amount of over the top. Nicely titled too. Well done! Thanks for the smile it gave me with my morning coffee.

    1. Thank you so much Kelly, I'm glad you liked. A smile always goes great with a morning cup of coffee, hope the rest of your day is the same!

  4. That was great Joe! You should put together a book of all of your stories. Or, I dunno.. Write a book???!!!

  5. What a fantastic read this was. Almost like watching a movie, but better!

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Hema. I'm glad you liked it!